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The Musings of Mistress Schari

A collection of mischievous and curious thoughts, ideas, reflections, and meditations.

What is it Like to be a Professional Dominatrix?

Air Date: July 21, 2021 @ 10pm ET

More than any other question, I am asked this very question. What better way to answer it than to be interviewed by my ever-faithful, wise-cracking submissive and sidekick Catnip_boi. Tune in live and listen or download it. I will answer what it's like to meet people for the first time under some very often odd circumstances. Why would someone come to see me? Is it just for men or can anyone book a session? How has being a pro-Domme spilled over into my personal life in both positive and negative ways. What are the most requested types of sessions? I  will also discuss how to book, what proper etiquette during a session is, and why I do this in the first place. Plus a whole lot more!

Does Kink Belong in PRIDE? Featuring our guest Pissi Myles

Original Air Date: June 16, 2021  (click here to listen)

Pissi Myles is an accomplished drag comedian, singer, and hostess from Asbury Park, NJ. Always one to make a scene, in 2019 Pissi partnered with the streaming news app Happs to cover Donald Trump’s impeachment. Dawning a red mini dress and a patriotic updo, Pissi caused a stir on Capital Hill, leading to stories from The Washington Post, NBC, and The New York Post.

Are You Really Born to Serve?

Original Air Date: May 19, 2021 (click here to listen)

Let's talk about the distinction between being born to serve, as in really wanting to be of service to your partner and being a service bottom. Is serving your partner just a way for you to gain access to fulfill your fantasies and desires or do you really relish in being able to serve them without anything in it for yourself? This most certainly is the question; I work with a lot of couples in all different aspects of power dynamics and the thing that seems to get confused the most is serving and being a bottom. Very often I will hear one person say, "but I live to serve them, I want to make them happy, I want to fulfill all their needs, I just expect to get my fun, my play, my rewards in return..."

Tsk, tsk. Can anyone else see what's wrong with that statement? If you live to serve then why are you expecting anything in return? That's not to say their aren't agreements and negotiations and promises agreed upon. However, the minute you "serve" and then have an expectation as a result of your service, you are no longer born to serve. Don't misunderstand me, this does not make you a bad person or even a bad sub, it's just time to get realistic about what you are asking of your partner and what you expect and it's time to own it. I know, I know saying that you're in it for yourself as well as your partner is less glamorous and certainly doesn't sound like you really want to serve another person but it's time to get over yourself. Reality must be part of this conversation and honesty really will propel a power dynamic in the right direction if everyone can just admit why they are in it in the first place.

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

Original Air Date: April 21, 2021

Very often catnip and I come across very interesting questions or topics that deserve an answer and a conversation but may or may not be enough for a whole show.

So, we decided, let's take some of those topics and just bundle them together in one show. Some of the topics we want to discuss could be things like the difference between a pet and a furry. Or, maybe you've wondered about how kink is handled in public? Can a Dominant perform services on their submissive like shaving and/or waxing and other grooming services? What is subspace and subdrop and why should I care? So tune in this week on April 21, make your favorite cocktail (why not, we do) and listen to catnip and I break down these random questions. And who knows what questions we will come across between now and then to add to the list, maybe you have some too?

Green Flags: How to Get Lucky & Illicit a Response

Original Air Date: March 17, 2021

Special Guest: Jonathan Bagnato https://linktr.ee/jonbagnato

Well it is a St. Patrick's Day show and we already discussed RED Flags, so let's discuss GREEN Flags and how to get lucky!

Now when I say get lucky, I don't necessarily mean get laid, we are going to stick with basics here... before you can get laid, you have to get a response. I cannot begin to tell you the amount of messages I receive on a daily basis that have absolutely NO substance to them. I'm not kidding! I get messages that sometimes just say s'up, or hey. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Then if it's even an app that requires profiles, I sometimes will take a look and their profile is nothing more than dick pic and a list of all the other pictures of other women they have liked in recent weeks. Yet, he expects a response? I don't even bother.

However, I have bothered before and this month we are going to discuss all the different ways I have been impressed and compelled to respond to someone's message. You won't want to miss the episode, especially all you young things with a MILF fantasy. You want to catch a cougar? I can tell you how.

We are also going to talk to my good friend Jonathan who, well let's face it, as a yoga instructor covered in tats, he gets hit on a lot. He is going to share with us what gets his attention and what does not, ladies you will listen!

Anyone else have great messaging do's and don'ts? Email us here and we just might mention it on the show... [email protected]

Red Flags and How to Spot Them

Original Air Date: February 17, 2021 (click here to listen)

Special guest: Brian J. Bartiromo, stand-up comic and father of 5 girls (payback is a bitch)

In the internet age we often meet people online before in person. You build this terrific relationship with them, having lengthy, deep conversations with them over chat or maybe video. We swear we have found our soulmate, we cannot believe how much this person gets us. Then we meet...

And this soulmate who we discover is not so soulful after all. We think, how could I have missed this? What signs did I not see? We face palm and shake our hang our heads down and blame ourselves for being fooled.

You're not alone, at some point in time we all have gone through this experience in our relationships. This month we are going to discuss red flags and what they might "look" like. The signs you may have missed. We will make important distinctions like: Concern vs. Control, Strict vs. Constricting, Teach vs. Preach, and Domination vs. Dominion.

It is so important to recognize and question any red flags as they present themselves, to know who has your best interests in mind. And, the thing is, this isn't just for BDSM or lifestyle dynamics. These signs or red flags appear in all types of relationships whether they are vanilla, kinky, professional, community, or just friendly. Red flags are real and just because you identify as a submissive does not require you to raise a white flag of surrender.

Living Kinky in a Vanilla World.

Original Air Date: January 20, 2021 (click here to listen)

Special guest: G.L. Henderson The King of Relationship Fiction Radio Host & award-winning author artistfirst.com/glhenderson

I think its safe to say that when you have a kinky lifestyle or a BDSM relationship dynamic, we tend to keep it to ourselves and apart from the "vanilla" world or everyday life. For many it is a secret that they fear their families and friends won't understand and so we pretend to be "normal" when we are out and about.

Ahhhh! Out and about, a novel idea these days. Still, so many of us find it challenging to be fully transparent with our relationship choices.

I wonder what it is we are afraid of? Being judged, diminished, de-valued, viewed as a bitch or a tyrant? As a pro-Domme, I have a public persona, so it's much harder for me to hide who I am, and why should I hide it? I am quite proud of the woman I am and the confidence I have; so why is it often assumed I must be a bitch or that I must hate men? Why is it that when a store clerk notices catnip's padlocked collar they look at him cross-eyed as if he is a prisoner or something?

Do all vanilla people dismiss us kinky people as being weird or misguided? Are they just mis-informed? Of course, I've been asked many times, "why do you have to tell anyone in the first place, why not just keep it to yourself..." I must confess there are times I've tried to not be "out" about my lifestyle, but then someone says something about a book or a movie or something they've heard and they get it so wrong that I can't keep quiet.

So how about you, where does kink fit in your everyday life?

Proper Session/ Scene Etiquette

coming soon

Proper session/scene etiquette begins THE SECOND you agree to participate, no exceptions! For both or all of you!

subspace

coming soon

Is it fact or fiction? And what the hell is it anyway?

chickening out

coming soon

We've all done it. We agree to meet, after all we had great texting banter, you've heard my podcasts and I seem totally aligned with what you are looking for, so you set the appointment. But then you chicken out, you make up an excuse (not even a good one) of why you can't make it, or you just blow me off, don't even show for your session you paid a deposit for, or you just don't show and you ghost me. Why? I have a few theories and we are gonna talk about them.

The thing is, it doesn't just happen to professionals, it happens to all online "daters", so let's talk about it.

Mischief Matters Radio

Airs the 3rd Wednesday

of every month* at 10:00 pm ET on

ArtistFirst.com

Tune in to hear what happens when you give a Pro-Domme a microphone?

At the beginning of each month I will preview the topic for Mischief Matters Radio here so you can have a chance to "weigh in" or ask your questions prior to the show's broadcast.

Email: [email protected]

*downloads of previous shows are available 24-48 hours after original broadcast

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